The journey continues…

Life truly is a journey and not a destination!  Even though I’ve written and spoken these words, this phrase, numerous times I find it funny how it always surprises me when my journey takes me back to what feels like the starting line.  Making a bold statement to me that I had the nerve to think I had arrived.

Even though it’s not the same starting line each time, there are similarities to one another.  For me, the common thread would be body image.   I created my best body, and my strength in self and mind seemed unstoppable.  When conditions changed, when my body was taken down, the body image work I thought I had arrived at suddenly wasn’t so strong.  When I looked the way I wanted to, total confidence.  When that started to go away, doubt and insecurities.

I do not look like I want to.  I do not feel the way I want to.  This is not me, yet it is.  How do I love myself for all of who I am, when I’m not exactly who I am?  These are the questions I’m grappling with as I also heal some serious metabolic damage from my autoimmune disease and competing.

I’m ready to be in a place of vulnerability with our fitness community at Hell Bent.  It’s been a long time coming, but I think there is part of my journey, whether I look the fitness part or not, that can inspire you and I know YOU will all inspire me to keep moving.  I’ve been at this latest pit-stop just a little too long.

I am Jill.  I am enough.  I am healing…my mind, my body, my soul.