Life truly is a journey and not a destination! Even though I’ve written and spoken these words, this phrase, numerous times I find it funny how it always surprises me when my journey takes me back to what feels like the starting line. Making a bold statement to me that I had the nerve to think I had arrived.
Even though it’s not the same starting line each time, there are similarities to one another. For me, the common thread would be body image. I created my best body, and my strength in self and mind seemed unstoppable. When conditions changed, when my body was taken down, the body image work I thought I had arrived at suddenly wasn’t so strong. When I looked the way I wanted to, total confidence. When that started to go away, doubt and insecurities.
I do not look like I want to. I do not feel the way I want to. This is not me, yet it is. How do I love myself for all of who I am, when I’m not exactly who I am? These are the questions I’m grappling with as I also heal some serious metabolic damage from my autoimmune disease and competing.
I’m ready to be in a place of vulnerability with our fitness community at Hell Bent. It’s been a long time coming, but I think there is part of my journey, whether I look the fitness part or not, that can inspire you and I know YOU will all inspire me to keep moving. I’ve been at this latest pit-stop just a little too long.
I am Jill. I am enough. I am healing…my mind, my body, my soul.